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COLUMBUS- Wally Chong has won two championships in his fantasy football league. But things aren’t looking quite as bright for the former fantasy sleuth. In a local news report this morning Chong apparently had a total and complete fantasy meltdown after realizing his team was repulsive to him.

“I haven’t had an experience like this ever,” Chong stated. “It’s just horrible being on the wrong end of the bludgeoning stick. I came into this season as cocky as ever. I mean I’m always great. I thought I would be this year too, but now I realize that won’t happen. Man, I just hate my team. I want this year to be over.”

Chong apparently woke up this morning in a cold sweat after having had nightmares about his quarterback Donovan McNabb. He went down to the kitchen to fix himself a cup of chamomile tea when he had his epiphany - that he really just hated his fantasy team, and that he didn’t want anything to do with fantasy football until next year. That’s when he called Columbus 10 Action News.

“I’m not giving up though,” Wally told an Action News reporter. “Even though my team stinks I’m going to play through otherwise I would be letting down my league. But damn - the cold, unvarnished realization that I can’t stand my team has definitely got me down in the dumps. I’ve been moping around all morning. I suppose I’ll eat some stuffing and pie and sit down to watch the Lions game. It’s what I deserve.”

Chong said he will drink gin all day until he figures out a way for this not to happen again next year.

“I think showing up to my draft instead of mailing it in is probably going to be the first thing I do. But frankly, I don’t know if that’s enough. Maybe I’ve just lost the touch,” Wally sobbed as he slurped the gin bucket he just made, and sat staring at his fantasy football trophies in his underpants.

Wally said he will alert the media as his situation progresses.

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