Asked by reporters how he has been able to fare so well this year when in previous years he has been a relative disappointment, DeAngelo Williams seemed embarrassed. “Frankly, I was just holding back,” the running back said. “I knew I was the number one running back in the league, but I just didn’t want nobody to know. I thought I would surprise everyone this year. Surprise!”
Jason Witten told reporters Friday he is concerned about how effective Jason Witten can be this Sunday with his sprained ankle. Witten said his ankle was functional, but that he, Jason Witten, was worried about pounding it during a game. Witten referred to himself in the third person constantly throughout the meeting saying ‘Jason Witten will decide if Jason Witten plays, or the team will decide if Jason Witten plays. Either way a decision about Witten has to be made’.
The New Orleans Saints have placed Reggie Bush on injured reserve ending his season. If you are thinking of freezing Bush don’t unless you want to have your heart broken multiple times like during games this year. Then again statistics indicated that 9/10 fantasy football coaches entertain freezing players who will ultimately break their hearts. Good luck.
PITTSBURGH- After receiving his walking papers from Pittsburgh and subsequently joining the Indianapolis Colts Najeh Davenport called up his business manager Les Doola to inquire about helping the people of Indianapolis. Doola and Davenport decided the best way for Najeh to assist the Indianoplis community was through hiring locals to assist in his manure based mulching business.
“It’s winter now, and most people have mulched so we aren’t hiring a lot right now,” Doola said. “But come springtime I think Najeh will have more than enough mulch to spread around the citizens of this great city.”
Davenport’s business, ‘Where’s The Manure?’, plans on hiring twelve college aged men to spread fertilized mulch over lawns across the greater Indianapolis area.
“The mulch is 100 percent organic and our team will be sporting dark brown caps so you can’t miss em. We’ll be out in the community restoring lawns, shrubs, and trees with our patented blend of nutrition rich ingredients,” Doola told the local paper. “We look forward to working with this local community to employ people, offer them lunch breaks, and provide health insurance. It’s Najeh’s way of saying ‘hello’ to this new community.”
Since the mulch is manure based reporters inquired about the source of the base compound to which Davenport replied, “Don’t worry about that. I’ve got that taken care of.”
Davenport will wear the number 2 for the Colts the rest of the season.
Photo Courtesy Icon SMI
The Arena Football League is calling it quits. Insiders say reasons for folding it up included lack of proper funding, cities pulling out, no interest from the players themselves, and fans who couldn’t care less. But they emphasize they are just ’suspending’ operations. “We’ll be back,” the ownership group confidently said.
Sure you will. In other news indoor soccer is ready for a post recession boom. Details at 10.