Shaun Alexander: I Am Not A “Cougar”

WASHINGTON- After joining the Washington Redskins as the third string back 32 year old Shaun Alexander expressed disappointment when Washington sports writers referred to him as a ‘cougar’. He held a press conference minutes after he arrived at Dulles airport on Wednesday.

“A cougar is someone who is single first off,” Alexander said. “And generally speaking they are a little bit older than I am, and looking for a younger man. I am happily married, and see no way that people could call me a cougar.”

Alexander may have his talking points, but that doesn’t negate the fact that at his age it is more than likely that many might consider him a cougar. In addition, what Alexander may not realize is that in fantasy football terminology a ‘cougar’ is any player, especially a running back, who is at least thirty two years of age, has lost more than a step, has an ego, still wants to play, and whose fantasy owners erroneously think will emerge as a viable starter even when given a full on chance.

“Oh he’s a cougar alright,” Rock Cartwright said. “Just let him try to top me as a second stringer, and you’ll see the cougar come out of Shaun. Trust me. If Portis goes down, and for some reason I go down, and Shaun gets a chance you’ll see a kitty kat in the backfield. You can put lipstick on a cougar, but it’s still a cougar.”

Alexander was clearly miffed at the press conference, and at the attitudes of some of his teammates, but said in his classic indifferent tone, “We’ll just wait and see. I don’t hope that Clinton goes down, but if he does the lion will roar. I’ll accept this little badge some of the naysayers put on me, and we’ll see who has the last laugh.”

Clinton Portis could not be cajoled into an interview. His public relations team said he has been busy trying on Halloween costumes at K Mart.

Photo Courtesy Icon SMI