Carson Palmer To Change Name To ‘Vince’ Or ‘Eddie’

CINCINNATI- News from inside Carson Palmer’s inner circle suggests the battered and much maligned quarterback is considering changing his name to improve the Bengals’ chances of winning the Superbowl next year. Friends say Palmer realized last Saturday that his ’soft’ first name doesn’t help his leadership in the locker room, or on the field. He told friends that he is considering a tougher name to ‘engender the kind of discipline and winning spirit we need on this team’.

“He knows darn well it’s really tough to respect a leader named Carson”, long time friend Rocky Smith said. “And he blames the Bengals’ dismal season mostly on this fact. He never liked his name, and it’s understandable. When you say Carson you think wussy boy.”

Detractors feel that Palmer shouldn’t adopt a new moniker citing the all time wussy boy name, Peyton, as in Peyton Manning, and his success.

“It doesn’t matter,” Palmer’s agent said recently. “Sure some guys have wussy boy names and can lead a team. But I think Carson knows that guys just can’t stand his name, and won’t follow his lead as long as he has it. It’s that simple.”

Palmer has wittled the field down to Vince and Eddie for now, leaning towards Eddie in recent days. He says he will make his decision in the off season. Bengals are hopeful that this will counter the Chad Ocho Cinco embarassment which hurt team morale, and create a new winning environment for the Bengals.

One fan, Drake Breakstone said, “I think he’s doing the right thing. We need something to mix things up around here, and without coaching, good draft picks, a decent schedule, and a team in disarray this might just be the ticket. I’m all for ready for Eddie.”

Photo Courtesy Icon SMI