Raiders Trade for Veteran Defensive Back, Darth Vader

OAKLAND- The Raiders passing defense got a big boost today when Al Davis announced the Oakland Raiders traded for premier linebacker Darth Vader, of Star Wars fame, but more recently playing with the Baltimore Ravens. The Raiders traded several undisclosed draft picks for Vader, who Davis says will start immediately.

“We look forward to having Darth come to our team. Along with Kirk Morrisson, Thomas Howard, Gibril Wilson, and Michael Huff, Vader comes in as a primo starter. He will probably replace Ricky Brown for now, although he is a tremendous strong safety as well,” the Raiders feisty owner said.

Vader comes in weighing 220 pounds without his cape, but with his already attached helmet on. League rules have been adjusted to allow Vader to use his prefabricated head as protection. The Raiders are so excited about their new addition they are switching their uniforms slightly to adjust to Vader’s look.

“It shouldn’t be hard,” Charles Reilly, Raiders VP said. “We’re going back to some retro uniforms which almost perfectly match with Vader’s timeless look. The NFL front office has already okayed it.”

“That’s one of the main problems I had at Baltimore,” the Prince of Darkness said. “They constantly complained about my outfit, and so I never got on the field in games. It sucks being as good as I am, and having to just play tackle dummy on the practice squad. This move to the Raiders really feels like home. I even see look alikes in the crowd. I mean how much better does it get than that? People love me here.”

George Lucas was unavailable for comment, but several Star Wars nerds in the Oakland area said they were so excited they were mortgaging their already depreciated homes to buy season tickets for next year.

Vader is reporting to his locker sometime later in the week.